Wisdom—I like to believe I’ve gained a lot of it over the course of my life. I can certainly talk the talk, confident about how I should respond to the challenges I’m bound to face from time to time.

“Remember to stay in the moment.”

“Focus on breathing deeply.”

“Say a prayer and then release it to God.”

“Relax!”

“Don’t waste your energy on worrying.”

“Just walk through the experience.”

Oh yes, I know all the right things to tell myself. Walking the walk, however, is often a different story.

Several weeks ago I spent a few days out of town watching my sister’s children while she and her husband were on vacation. The time seemed to fly by, and everything was going smoothly—everything that is, until … there was a crisis with my laptop.

I was sitting on the sofa, scrolling through Facebook and email one evening. Suddenly a message popped up and the page froze on a warning that something bad had happened.

I don’t recall the exact wording, but possible causes of the problem were something like “virus” and “maybe caused by an illegal action.” There was also a flashing image in the background urging me to call the provided phone number for Apple Support Services.

I hesitated to call the number, but after repeated failed attempts to close the window, I felt I had no choice. The person answering my call told me their company “OneClick” handled troubleshooting for Apple. I ended up allowing him to commandeer my computer screen so he could diagnose the problem. At some point, he informed me that while the computer itself was still under warranty, it would cost $200 for the technicians’ time to fix the problem.

Because I felt I had no other choice, I agreed. In the end, I gave him my credit card information. Fortunately, as it turned out, the credit card company required some sort of approval on this transaction. And the approval was not going through.

That led to yet another problem and increasing stress.

My computer wasn’t working, and I’d handed over credit card info to an unknown someone I was trusting. I don’t know how technology works, but I wondered if I might have unwittingly compromised my sister’s family’s wi-fi. Now the credit card didn’t appear to be working.

The “Apple Support person” assured me they would go ahead and make the repairs if I agreed to send a check once I returned home. Something about his guarantee made me believe he and his company were on the up-and-up.

The call ended soon after. I was trying to follow my own best advice. I focused on my breathing, I said a prayer, and I willed myself to be calm as I watched things unfold.

An hour later, I received a call from the computer technician letting me know they had fixed my problems. I should have been flooded with relief, but I wasn’t. A nagging feeling that I’d been scammed continued. My computer was functioning again, and nothing appeared wrong or out of the ordinary. But, I had willingly given my login password and a credit card number to strangers.

By the time my computer issues were finally resolved, it was time for bed. I was drained from the stress and feeling totally exhausted.

I determined to let it go for the night, telling myself it would all work out all right. Another prayer and more breathing exercises and miraculously,I found that comfort in sleep.

The moment I opened my eyes the next morning, however, I was again greeted by doubt and worry.

When the Apple Store at the mall opened, I went to see what I could see. I explained what had happened to the guy who was checking people in. I was looking for assurance that everything was legit, but he broke it to me immediately, “You’ve been scammed!”

I scheduled an appointment with one of Apple tech people, but I couldn’t get in for two hours. Although two hours doesn’t usually seem like such a long time, that morning it passed at a snail’s pace. Myriad thoughts flooded my mind as I played and replayed all that had happened. There were also scenarios of every conceivable awful thing that might still happen as a result of my mistakes. How could I have been so stupid to get sucked into the scam! I felt physically ill. I experienced weakness and occasional waves of nausea. At one point, I contemplated immediately going off the grid and surrendering all my electronic devices.

I was a mess!

I knew what I longed to do—to be in the moment. I wanted to just walk through the experience and not let my emotions get the best of me. Several times throughout the ordeal, I even asked myself, “OK, what are the lessons I am supposed to be learning from this?” I tried to assure myself it was all going to be fine. Even if my identity had been compromised and I might lose a bunch of money, I was still breathing. I had my life, my health, and many people who loved me.

Try as I might, I couldn’t hold myself where I wanted to be. I was consumed with worry as my mind continued its furious racing.

Eventually, I headed back to meet the real Apple tech representative and to learn my fate. We changed my computer login password. He checked my computer for malware, and he assured me things were going to be OK. He taught me what to do if that sort of thing happens again—force quit or turn it off. He let me know that if someone online is going to charge me money to “fix” my computer, they are not legit.

The technician let me know mine was not an isolated issue. He explained that the scammers create a problem so they can charge money to fix it. Although they may not be doing something illegal technically, they do appear unethical. He also told me those people don’t appear to be stealing my identity but are instead looking to make the fast $200 and then move on to the next person.

Through his caring attitude and his professional assistance, I found my way back to a sense of calm, hopefully a bit wiser now from the journey.

I know how I desire to live. I long to embrace every experience that comes my way—the good ones as well as the challenging ones. I want to learn what I can each step of the way without getting all worked up.

This time around, I failed the test—big time.

And I’m willing to acknowledge I may even do it the next time. I do know, however, that I’m heading in the right direction. I can see baby steps of progress, and I’m happy for them. In the meantime, I remain hopeful that someday I’ll have an experience where my actions truly follow my beliefs. My goal is to ace mindful living!