One of my favorite writers these days is Gregory Boyle, author of Tattoos on the Heart and Barking to the Choir. A Jesuit priest and founder of Homeboy Industries, he writes of his experiences working with gangs in Los Angeles.

The thing is, although the books are not really that long, they take me forever to finish. I tend to read a little, cry a little, sometimes laugh a bit, and then reread sections multiple times. I’m amazed by his wisdom, and I want to hang onto every morsel he offers.

For some time now, I’ve been ruminating on one particular passage, hoping it will permeate my soul.

In the selection, Boyle references a 14th-century mystic, Dame Julian of Norwich. Julian believed “that the truest and most authentic spiritual life was one that produced awe, humility, and love.” Right there it piqued my interest, and I stopped reading. “That’s me,” I thought. I really am on a journey trying to live my truest and most authentic spiritual life.

Those few words struck a chord. Humility and love are traits I understand and have tried to work on, but I’d never given awe equal consideration.

In awe of awe

Oh sure, I feel awe when I take in the beauty of nature. And I’ve often sensed it through some of life’s wonderful experiences. It’s been a part of weddings, births, and achievements.

But the awe we need to aim for is found in every single experience we have. And it’s in every encounter with every person we meet. Unfortunately, according to Boyle, awe tends to get lost along the way. He says we are at our healthiest “when we are most situated in awe, and at our least healthy when we engage in judgment.”

So, it seems to come down to a choice between awe and judgment.

With every single thing we go through, we choose how we will respond. Will it be with a sense of awe, or will it be with judgment? We need to embrace our personal suffering and brokenness with a sense of reverence. If we do, we will be better equipped to relate to the suffering and brokenness of others.

On the other hand, according to Boyle, if we don’t willingly accept our own suffering, we are more likely to loathe the wounded.

Judgment seems to have no redeeming qualities. It drives us apart from one another. It can lead to feelings of doubt and fear, distrust and hatred. It creates barriers, leaving no room for compassion and love.

Confession

I confess I’ve spent too much time defaulting to judgment. When I meet new people, I’m usually sizing them up and comparing myself to what I see of them. I form opinions based on stories in the news, on conversations with others, and on interactions with people I pass on the streets.

And let me not forget to mention my opinions of other motorists I notice on the highways, especially if they aren’t driving the way I think they should!

People at church or people in the neighborhood—I can judge them all.

Malcolm Gladwell claimed that 10,000 hours of practice can make you an expert at something. I’m not proud to say it, but I wonder if I may have become something of an expert on judgment. At the very least, with a lifetime of practice, judgment has become a deeply ingrained habit.

I acknowledge my opinions are incomplete and therefore unfair. But that hasn’t usually stopped me.

Judge not

What I know at this point in my life is that rushing to judge others hasn’t made me happier. Like an anchor weighing down my heart, it has severely limited me and kept me from being the person I long to be.

It’s just like Mother Teresa said, “If you judge people, you don’t have time to love them.”

Gregory Boyle is pointing out another alternative. We can choose awe over judgment.

Awe! I love everything about that! Just the sound of the word lifts my spirit!

‘Only my perception’

It’s not easy to replace judgment with awe, but I’ve begun working on it. What I’m trying to do is slow down and live more mindfully.

If I find myself having a negative thought about a person, I try to put it in check. I want to pause long enough to identify it for what it is, just a thought. It’s not the truth, only my perception. It is not what the person is. It’s just a notion, an incomplete notion based on my limited interactions.

I have a long way to go, but I feel like I’m heading in the right direction. And, as I start to make a little progress, I’m able to shift my mindset and to look for positive qualities to focus on.

Those traits are every bit as much a part of the person as anything I was perceiving earlier. Choosing to put my focus there will build that interconnection. A healthier relationship can then grow and flourish. And I have a feeling, if I stay on the path, we’ll both feel the benefits.

How AWEsome is that? Thank you, Father Greg!