One year before Valentine’s Day, my colleague Katy suggested we make special valentines for each of the kids at the detention center. With the help of the detention officers, we came up with a list of positive qualities of each student.  

In truth, it may have required us to dig a little deeper for some students. And, sometimes we may have had to exercise a little creativity with our wording. Eventually, however, we came up with plenty of wonderful, affirming descriptors for every student—all of it heartfelt and real.

We created and printed a personalized valentine for each student. With their names prominently displayed, we acknowledged our gratitude for them. Then we listed all the things that made them so special to us—all their glorious attributes. We even sprang for the colored ink, a rare treat considering our meager budget.  

The response from the students, when we presented the valentines, was quite extraordinary!

They were visibly moved—more deeply than I would have ever imagined. It was as if they just couldn’t believe people saw those wonderful traits in them. They read the valentines, and they reread them—over and over again. Then after school, they took the cards to their rooms. They kept them close at hand, something to treasure for days to come.

Reflecting later, I came to believe that little project was just as valuable to us adults as it had been to the students. Although it required very little time and effort, it led us to focus on the good in each of those young people in our charge. It asked us to forget, for a moment, all the glaring flaws, the irritating habits, and even the misdeeds that had landed them in detention.

Instead, our gaze settled on the personal finest of each child.  

The memories Katy and I have of that activity remain deeply rooted and bittersweet. This simple project simultaneously provided a thrilling delight and a heavy sadness. The kids seemed so pleased by what we had done. It had come together quickly and  easily, and the results, as we had hoped, seemed nurturing and empowering.

On the other hand, the students’ reactions pointed directly to all that was lacking in their lives. The level of incredulity they displayed when they read their valentines revealed how rarely they felt affirmed. It indicated what little self-worth they possessed.  

Reaching out to validate others isn’t a hard thing to do. The ripple it creates can benefit both giver and receiver. It is good and right and holy.

A kind word. A smile. An embrace.

That’s all it takes to say, “I see you—I celebrate you!”