I’ve heard we often face the same lesson in life over and over until we finally “get it.” When we eventually learn what we’re supposed to from a situation, we can move on to something else.

I’m wondering now if the same principle applies to my thoughts. Lately I’ve been plagued by a feeling of restlessness in my life. In reality, it’s been recurring for quite a while. I’ve resisted, attempting to press it into submission. I’ve tried to carry on living as usual, but it won’t let me go.

It all revolves around one area of my life. Some of the symptoms are:

• feeling disheartened
• loss of passion
• thoughts and daydreams of better ways of living
• feelings that I’m settling for less

Don’t get me wrong. I am surrounded by loving, supportive people. I am a happy person with a wonderful husband and family, and the majority of the time I’m living a life of joy and gratitude.

I try to live in the present and remain attuned to all the good around me.

So what’s up with these unwelcome negative thoughts that stealthily return time after time to commandeer my attention?

This can’t go on, this runaway thinking. It’s not how I want to live or who I want to be.

Time to change

At last I’ve come to believe I’m suffering from a deep need for change. And I’m convinced the discomfort and restlessness are likely to hang around until I heed their urging and get out of my rut.

Change is not always easy for me. And the magnitude of change I sense I’m headed for makes me want to curl up in the fetal position and stay there. As much as I may like to talk about leaning into new experiences and adventures, I’m usually the one dragging my feet to act. If and when I finally make a move, I’m likely feigning confidence on the outside even as I tremble inside.

Life is all about changing, evolving, growing. I know that. I also know I should be welcoming it instead of pushing back.

To calm this restlessness, I am going to have to let go of a few things I’ve become attached to. Some of those will be difficult. I suppose that’s why I’ve held out so long. I’m bound to lose some close connections. And as that happens, I envision sadness moving in to replace my restlessness, at least for a while.

Quite a stretch

Letting go of things that no longer serve me well is necessary to make room for new growth. It’s not that I’ve been going down the wrong path up to this point. In fact it’s been a pretty good one. But this internal tugging is challenging me to grow and stretch in new directions.

For me it comes down to this: Each of us has one trip through this lifetime. We have no idea how long the journey may be, but when I reach the end, I want no regrets. My goal is to live each day to my highest potential.

So with great trepidation, I vow to commit to a whole new adventure. I consciously release parts of the familiar that have lost their allure. I offer thanks for the good those things provided and the lessons I have learned. And then I step, as bravely as I can, onto a new path. One baby step after another. With knees trembling, I begin to anticipate the beauty of new opportunities before me.

Merely pondering the changes I’m leaning into, I sense the restlessness and discomfort beginning to fade. They’re losing their hold on me.

My pulse quickens and my spirit stirs once more as I embark on this new quest. Realigned with my desire to help build deeper kinships and cultivate universal love, I know I am at peace.