A small band of elastic on my wrist keeps me from letting tough times get the better of me. It helped me – for the most part – break a dark habit that gripped me for decades.

From both her website and mindset, Karla Freeze peddles positivity. I’m so grateful she does.

My first Refocus Band is one of her favorites. On one side, it features the bright colors of her Positivity Place logo. The other simply says, “Positive Attracts Positive.” She sold me on the idea of turning the band over each time I had a negative thought with the goal of relieving myself of that damaging go-to.

But I’m stalling here. I’m dodging the truth, a truth you might be struggling to cope with now.

I was stuck. Bad stuck.

So very dark

Everything around me felt dark and dismal. The public relations job I loved was not shaping up as I planned, and career defeat stared me in the face every day, during every project, at every meeting. I know I became a toxic part of a struggling team. And I had no intention of hiding how committed I was to staying right where I was to wallow in and rail against my miserable situation.

A wonderful friend convinced me otherwise.

She simply said, “You need to get out of there.”

I know she meant my job situation. Today, though, I also know in my heart she was saying get out of that mental place where you allow negative thinking to dominate your life.

As a new career opportunity arose, I also sought counseling, but with a mindset different from past attempts.

I told myself I’d do the work. That I wouldn’t say just enough to my counselor to feel better for the time being. I wanted to feel as good as I could for the duration. I wanted to change the thoughts in my head that held me back.

My kind and straightforward counselor didn’t let me slide. She gave me tools – real tools – to use when my brain got dark, when the negative choice felt like the only choice.

Touches of teal

That tool focuses on creating a calm and comfortable place in my mind to find refuge, to regroup, to try again. My calm, comfortable place is teal with cream-colored accents. The chair is overstuffed, velvety and turned toward the window where sun streams in. In front of the window, a low table holds a flourishing spider plant, a hot cup of vanilla creamer with coffee, and a notebook with the kind of paper pens dance over.

Along with learning to connect with my breath through guided meditation, I learned I can change my own mind. I can go to my teal retreat, and I can flip the elastic band on my wrist. I can focus on the positive even when negativity abounds.

Let’s not pretend I’ve become a perfectly positive person.

I do find myself very, very aware of when I’m jumping to judgment. I see when I’m choosing to believe and latch on to negative thoughts.

The ReFocus bands I wear the most now feature two messages – one that reinforces my commitment to brighter thinking – “Practice Love.” The other helps me work on a newer goal to battle an even older habit – procrastination. It says “Start with Just One Thing.” When I do, I make progress and focus on that instead of the never-ending to-do list of items left undone.

Brighter and lighter

All this helps me in my fairly new and incredibly fulfilling job at the University of Illinois. More than anything, it helps me be grateful for what I have – a safe and healthy family in the most uncertain of times, and a communications career filled with people who work hard and keep each other going no matter what.

I’m learning to love my new habits, to love sunshine pushing away the dark. I’m grateful for being able to keep my mind positive and my retreats filled with colors that soothe. And I’ll stay committed to simple elastic bands that work wonders and change lives.

Laura Mabry is thrilled to be the communications director in the Office of Marketing Communications at the College of Agricultural, Consumer and Environmental Sciences at the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign.