A short time back, my three sisters and I spent an evening together via Zoom. One of them kicked off the conversation by asking, “How’s everybody doing?”

“I’m fine!” I answered immediately.

Funny how, when the question was posed, we all seemed quick to default to that pat answer. Even so, none of our responses sounded very convincing.

Compared to many others, I am truly fine. I have no serious health concerns. I have a comfortable home, plenty to eat, and enough money to pay my bills. I can’t think of one reason to complain.

And yet, when I considered how I’d actually been living out my days, I realized I wasn’t doing nearly as well as I’d like to be.

Get real

Moving into the new year, I’d become a total slug. I had little interest in reading, writing, or playing music—all things I typically like to do. I’d also been slacking when it comes to cleaning and cooking—even more so than usual. I just couldn’t seem to muster the energy.  

Why? What was wrong? What happened?

In part, I suppose that some of my funk was the result of COVID-weariness. In the U.S. we’ve been dealing with the pandemic for a year now. It’s reasonable to think we’re all feeling the effects of its restrictions.

On top of that, our nation appears to have been overrun with divisiveness, violence, distrust, and blame. Hatred is rearing its ugly head in so many forms. Our Capitol was desecrated. Rioters raged, and people died. Angry mobs openly threatened to assassinate government officials. 

We might have imagined those events happening in other countries, but never would we have dreamed they’d happen in our own.

No, on second thought, I had to admit, I wasn’t doing so well after all. None of us were.

World storms

In actuality, I’d been feeling disheartened and overwhelmed. I’d been wallowing in deep sadness and a sense of helplessness. Struggling to stay afloat amidst the recent storms of our world, I’d been flitting from one thing to another—unable to focus and stay on task.

As my sisters and I shared our thoughts and feeling about the recent events, our youngest sister Jill offered a bit of sage advice. She urged us not to worry about the big picture so much. Instead, she said we need only to do the next right thing. She suggested that we take stock of where we found ourselves currently.

Then we should look at our options, and do just one thing, the one thing that felt the most right to us.

Whoa!  

Once again, as she has so often done, this woman brought a fresh perspective to our discussion. She’s our baby sister, 12 years my junior, but she always seems so adept at dealing with whatever challenges life serves up.

Pay attention

A few days after our conversation, her words were still playing in my mind.

As I was trying to rein in my thoughts and my worries, I picked up a random book from the shelf. As I began to read, I quickly recognized the message coming in loud and clear. It was, in fact, the same message my sister had offered.

It seems we all want to be in charge. We long to plan and control the events of our life. We want focus on the big picture, the whole story. 

All we really need to know, however, is the next step. When we go step-by-next step, we can’t maintain our control. But that’s okay because we were never really able to control it all anyhow.

Miraculously, I got the exact message I needed to hear. I’m smart enough to know that when it shows up, not once but two times, I’d better pay attention.

So, that’s what I tried to do. I backed away from the news and social media. I stopped to take a good look at myself and my surroundings. 

Finally, I started looking for ways to feed my soul and help connect me with others. 

The next right thing

In the process, I rediscovered that doing the next right thing requires me to stay grounded in the moment. I can’t be lamenting the past or worrying about the future. If I want to act on the next right step, I have to stay in the present.

Once more finding my way back to now, I’ve sensed the calm returning to enfold me. I’m home again, and it feels wonderful. 

Realistically, because I’m still a mindfulness rookie, I’m bound to veer off course again and again. And I’m fine knowing that. I’ll just stay with this moment and treasure the gift it offers.

And the next time I find myself wandering and out of sorts, I’ll try to remember the way back. For it is in the present, I’m reminded, that I feel most alive. It really is home to me, the one place I know where gratitude abounds and joy is sure to follow.

Ahhh, home sweet home!