“Please stand for the presentation of the colors,” the man at the podium requested.

And so we stood side by side along with all the other friends and family members gathered for the graduation ceremony in the large arena. I’d brought my friend/English student to witness her oldest son receive his engineering degree from the university.

I watched as the color guard slowly advanced with their impeccable precision stepping. I’d taken in similar scenes numerous times, and usually I was struck by patriotic feelings of gratitude and pride.

On that day, however, my mind decided to head in another direction. In those moments I began to wonder why any of the pomp and circumstance mattered. It was part of tradition, but had we outlived its significance? It was impressive, but was it necessary, or was it all just for show? What did it really mean to most of the people in attendance—anything at all?

Like many others, my soul had grown weary.

The brutal reality is that our country is struggling in a major way. Deep division. Hatred. Violence. Intolerance. Lack of integrity and honor. Judgment and blame dispensed whenever people have differing viewpoints. Selfishness. Power-hungry leaders. Corporate greed. So much ugliness.

Whew! I’d never had that kind of experience before at a public event. I was spiraling into deep despair even as I was watching the flag being presented. I hadn’t anticipated it, but my runaway mind had left me feeling overwhelmed with hopelessness. As the national anthem began to play, all I felt was numb.

Transformation

And that’s when it happened. In the first lines of The Star Spangled Banner, I felt my sweet friend’s tap on my shoulder as she said my name. “Nahn-see?” When I glanced her way, she gave me a questioning look as she patted her right hand on her heart. It was as if to ask if she was doing it correctly—or maybe to ask why I wasn’t doing it at all.

As she stood attentively with her hand placed reverently over her heart, she smiled a smile that illuminated her whole being. Her deep love and gratitude for this country was unmistakable.

That small gesture of hers reeled me back to the present immediately. She interrupted my reverie and unwittingly broke my headlong fall into desperation.

One look at her was all it took to remind me that this country, flawed and struggling as it is, is still better than so many. After the horrific events they’d endured in their home country, this one offered her and her children refuge and hope.

I immediately put my hand on my own heart, and with a twinge of guilt for my lapse, I even sang the rest of the anthem. More importantly, I stayed in the moment for the remainder of the ceremony. I was able to focus on the celebration and to feel the joy and the magnitude of what it meant to my friend and her family.

From within

The irony of that situation was not lost on me. My much-needed boost in patriotism came not from a motivational speech. It didn’t come from any interaction with another American citizen. Instead, it was delivered by an immigrant, a beautiful petite woman not yet an American citizen herself. It was from one who speaks only a few words of English and dresses according to her native culture. It came from one for whom I feel deep love and respect.

I remain firmly grounded in the belief that what you focus on grows. That day I’d remained centered on negativity until it almost got the best of me. Where I was heading was of no use to anyone.

Thankfully, a friend stepped in and helped me reset my thoughts.

Moving forward, the best path for me is to seek out the good in this world. Always. I need to stay in each moment and to look for the ripples of lovingkindness created by my student and others like her. Those waves are always present, and for my own well being, I have to stay focused on them. What’s more, I need to join in and offer whatever I can to nurture others, too.

Then, in accordance with my beliefs, on and on it will go and it will grow. It will grow until one day it produces a tsunami powerful enough to wipe out all forms of hatred and destruction.

May it be so for one and for all.