In our family it’s a well-known fact: I like to talk. I can talk with almost anyone—and I do. Once I get past my initial shyness, I start chatting. Before you know it, I’ve fallen effortlessly into yet another long and meandering conversation. 

Although I enjoy conversing and getting to know people better, I admit my chattiness could benefit from a little discipline. Practicing mindful speech might be the best way to make that happen.

There is incredible power in words. Speech can be used to nurture others and spread love among family, friends, and beyond. Or, it can be hurtful, divisive, and counterproductive.  

My words need to be consistently positive because focusing on love and goodness is where I find my joy.

Before I put my message out into the world, I need to first pause and T.H.I.N.K. before I speak.  

T.H.I.N.K. is an activity I discovered online and occasionally used with the students at the juvenile detention center. It’s a great tool to measure the effect our words can have. 

“T” stands for “true.” Is what I’m about to say absolutely unequivocally positively factual? NOT—someone I trust told me, so I know it must be true. NOT—I read it online. NO, NOT EVEN—my parents, my teacher, my preacher all said it, so I know it’s true. 

“H” represents “helpful.” If I’ve established that something is undeniably indisputably a fact, I should still keep it to myself unless I know it’s actually helpful to share. Would it contribute to uplifting someone, or would it be more apt to agitate a situation? Would it resolve a conflict or perhaps create a bigger one?

“I” refers to the speaker. Am I the person best equipped to say this thing, or would it be more effective coming from another person? Would someone else be able to deliver the message more sensitively?

“N” is about the timing, the question of “now.” Is right now the best time to bring this up? Or, should I wait until the situation has settled before I say any more?

If I haven’t already decided not to speak, I’m ready for the final consideration.

“K” stands for “kindness.” Is what I want to say kind to this person and to others as well?

Even if I’m convinced that it has passed the first four tests, if it serves to tear down another person, I have to drop it.

Slowing down enough to consider the real impact of my words will lead me to altering what comes out of my mouth. It will ensure that I’m doing what I truly believe in, nurturing others with uplifting messages.

But it goes beyond the messages I deliver by mouth. It also applies to every other way I communicate. It’s in every letter, email, Tweet, and Facebook post.

Social media overflows with words from all kinds of people wanting to voice their opinions. Often the messages denigrate other human beings. The victims are people in the news, political figures, athletes, celebrities, or just citizens who have taken an unpopular stand on an issue. We don’t even know these people, yet we feel entitled to spew vitriolic remarks about them because they don’t think like we do.  

I am as flawed as every other person, but my goal is to resist falling into the mire of this negativity.

Granted, if I run everything I share, verbally or written, by the T.H.I.N.K. test first, I will be communicating less—partly because the smart assessment takes so long. The upside, though, is I will begin to honor my words more, and I will be abiding by my vow to use my words only for good.